I’ve been learning a lot about apologizing lately. It’s hard, guys. Really hard. Like…. I can’t even begin to explain. It’s hard just talking about it. But lemme tell you, it’s such a relief. “5 seconds of awkward can save from a lifetime of regret,” says Sadie Robertson Huff. And it’s so true yet so hard. As I sat in my bedroom the other night, pondering the day as I listened to a Jack Hibbs podcast about thinking about others rather than yourself, I realized something. I realized that I had put myself on a high horse. I made myself look perfect and I acted as if I was better than everyone. I corrected others on what they could be doing better and I never once looked at myself and asked what I could be doing better. This led me to feel horrible for my actions and I knew what I had to do.
First, I had to pray. I prayed a prayer asking forgiveness. A prayer to admit I was wrong. It is not easy. Guys, I’m not saying this because I think I’m great and solved the problem the right way. I’m saying this because I want you to know that I’m not perfect. No matter how much I act like it, I’m not. I’m a disgusting sinner and cannot believe that my good, good Father cares to take this horrible sinner in His arms and hold me. And He won’t let go either. He won’t. It amazes me nonstop how He loves us. But He does. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about His wonderful grace and mercy. God doesn’t have to care about us or accept us but. He. Just. Does. Think about that.
Second, I went to my friend (CoCo) and apologized. I was crying. And it wasn’t easy. I made a mistake and felt horrible. And I put myself on a high horse every day. It’s hard to realize that and take yourself down. But being the awesome friend she is, CoCo graciously forgave me and gave me a virtual hug XD. (Oh, how I wish I could hug her.)
So I wanted to encourage you guys. Not because I’m perfect and know all about this. No. But because I learned a few things, it’s hard to realize what you’ve done. And sometimes it’s hard to feel forgiven. It’s hard to realize that you are truly loved. And you’ll sin again. You’ll have to apologize again. Over and over. Not because of what Satan or Adam and Eve have done to us (Don’t blame it on them) but because of what we’ve done to ourselves. If it hadn’t been Eve, it would’ve been me. I would have done just the same.
To conclude, we’re sinful people. I am a sinful person. And it’s not an easy life we live.. And it’s hard to admit we were wrong. It’s hard to put ourselves out there. But it builds relationships. It can build your relationship with God and with the people around you. It’s worth it.