Dear Christian Introvert, (By CoCo)

Welcome! Today, we have a special guest, CoCo! CoCo is my best friend. We met through the American Heritage Girls Pen Pal Program. Within 3 months of writing letters, we were best friends. Over quarantine, we grew even closer. We talk everyday and do many activities together even though we live over 2000 miles away. Make sure you check out Coco’s blog and her wonderful, Christ-centered content!

Here’s Dear Christian Introvert by Coco,


I know you often feel like you are different from everyone else. You are an observer in a world of participants, always on the outside wanting nothing more than to fit in. Perhaps you are a writer, an encourager, a listener, the quiet one in the corner with your mind in another universe. Parties are no more fun than they are a chore, and while you can thrive one-on-one, you find that three or more is an overbearing crowd. It can be difficult to be yourself in a world that values the very things that drain you. 

I get it.

I am one of you.

But the labels that society has given us–quiet, shy, timid, strange–don’t have to define us in a negative way. We don’t have to allow them to hold us back and keep us from being who we really are. Maybe, just maybe, those are our strengths and not our weaknesses. And even in weakness, there is abundant grace. 

Even the God of the universe, with His thundering voice and all-powerful hand, has a quiet, gentle side. Extroverts and introverts alike are created in the image of God, and every single person can find an example in the way that Jesus Christ–God in the flesh–lived His life on earth. Let’s look at the introvert qualities of Jesus.

Example of Being Alone

The greatest Man who ever lived still found solitude to be a necessity of the soul. Jesus demonstrates to us that wanting to be alone is not inherently bad; in fact, it’s crucial to our spiritual well-being. He often withdrew to meet His Father before or after He engaged with the crowds.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he got up, went out, and made his way to a deserted place; and there he was praying.” (Mark 1:35).

“After dismissing the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. Well into the night, he was there alone.” (Matthew 14:23).  

“During those days he went out to the mountain to pray and spent all night in prayer to God.” (Luke 6:12).

Example of Being Quiet

When the Pharisees brought the woman caught in adultery to Jesus, hoping that He would condemn her, He didn’t give an answer right away. Instead, He stooped down and began to write in the dirt (John 8:5-7). And even when He was put on trial before the high priest, He didn’t answer every question asked. The Bible says that He “kept silent” (Matthew 26:62-63). 

He was so in tune with the Holy Spirit that He only spoke when words were given to Him. Sure, He was often found teaching the crowds and calling out the scribes and Pharisees, but there were also times when He was quiet. 

Don’t let the world label you as quiet in a negative way; instead, embrace the fact that you are able to listen and control your tongue. 

Example of a Small Friend Group/Influence

Jesus, the ultimate example of a man who loved God and loved people, still only had twelve close friends (and one betrayed Him in the end!). Now, you may be thinking that twelve is a lot, and as an introvert myself, I honestly would have to agree with you. But it still goes to show that a large friend group is not necessary: we can pour ourselves into a small group of people and have meaningful relationships with those few. We don’t need a following in the hundreds in order to make a difference. 

Every person has a “Paul”: a mentor figure who is further along in life and can offer advice. Whether that be a parent, boss, pastor, friend, the random stranger you met online, you name it–we have all been impacted by someone.  And, on the flip side, every person has a “Timothy”: someone who is coming along behind you that you can offer advice and help to. Whether you realize it or not, someone is watching you: a sibling, friend, co-worker, maybe a cousin or a neighbor. I would encourage you to identify those closest to you that God has given you the ability to invest in. 

We can’t help everyone. No matter how hard we try, we will always exhaust ourselves before we reach every person who is hurting. But we can be intentional in the friendships that we do have and choose to speak life to those few.  Whether it be one, two, or twelve, we can be an influence in this world. Even as introverts.

So, my introvert friend, don’t ever beat yourself up for being an introvert. It’s who you are, who God created you to be. The number of friends you have, amount of words you say, or list of parties you attend does not matter so much as your heart behind the few that you do. Introverts are great at quality over quantity, and that’s all right.

We may be quiet, we may get lost in our daydreams now and then, and we may not enjoy the same things that extroverts do. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make a difference and live a life worth living. 

You do you, Introvert. Your personality is a super power: silent, but so very powerful. 

Always His,

~CoCo (a fellow Christian Introvert)

4 thoughts on “Dear Christian Introvert, (By CoCo)

  1. great post :). i’m an introvert (though i’ve found i can be more social than most. Cause I’ll genuinely be a friend to everyone but don’t often get that in return. i always feel like i don’t fit in in my friend groups and don’t make the deep connections i want to make) also on the 12 disiples thing. didn’t jesus also have, amongst those 12, 3 who were even closer?

    wanted to comment on the other blog post but commenting doesnt seem to be enabled so *comments here*
    I often find it sad how its so rare to make friends with a variety of ages now. in fact it’s almost discouraged even by adults. I’m almost 20 now, and i volunteer at both the youthgroups we have at my church (one for middleschool, one for highschool) and i find a lot of the younger girls (aroun12-14) get along with me and want to talk to me and hang out… but are afraid their parents won’t approve. they’ve expressed that I understand them (cause I’ve gone through what they’re going through) and enjoy that I still like to have fun with them. and then i struggle to keep the relationship up cause i don’t want to unknowingly disrespect their parents…(usually i talk to them, for example with one of the 13 year olds when we wanted to hang out her dad requested i come to their house first, even though i know her mother really well, shes one of the other youth leaders. he wanted to meet me though cause he couldnt comprehend why a 19 year old would want to hang out with his 13 year old daughter. and i get that XD it is weird and unusual and could be dangerous. but I thought it went well. but afterward my friend texted me saying she wasn’t sure her parents approved of us being close friends and hanging out. it wasn’t the feeling i got from them but *shrug* now I feel uncertain of what to do.) but i believe there is value in having relationships with people younger and older because we help eachother see things in different ways and encourage eachother. i know when i was younger i wanted relationships with older people but they never reached out.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I completely agree with you. I have some friends who are 30 and some who are 10. Like you said, it is super important that all ages interact because we can build each other up in ways that others might not be able to. I’ve always enjoyed having older friends because I learn so much from them. And I enjoy having younger friends because I can teach them and help them. Usually they help me too! I’ll be praying for you and your situation and that Christ will make it clear what to do. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes, that’s a good point!! Jesus was closer to Peter, James, and John out of the 12. I hadn’t thought of that, so thanks for pointing it out!

      And yeah, I have comments disabled on my blog. Thanks for commenting here 🙃

      Liked by 1 person

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